Then the next morning, I slept until about 9AM (what a very long hour to sleep!) with no handphones on. She was so worry about me, she thought something not good happened to me. But the fact is, nothing but sleepy thing.
She did come, prayed for me. We talked about a lot of things, laughed together, and cried together in prayer. That’s what a best friend is for.
The day before, I sang a song “Hatiku percaya”. Then God hit me with such revelation. In fact, some difficult matters happened to me lately and created some changes in me. I do still believe that God exists, but… it’s hard for me to believe that God can give and still giving me the best in everything.
When I heard about some good true stories from others, I would say, “That’s for them, not for me.”
As written previously, I suffered a great loss. To lose a sister is not a small matter for me. My father said, “Loosing a daughter for me is like the end of the day. It seems that everything is nothing here on earth.”
And today, I locked myself in my room. I was going to sleep after doing the ministry, but then guests came. They are the old friends of my sister, (and us). They were talking with my parent outside, and of course as I guessed, they gave some questions about my sister. I didn’t want to get involved in such conversation, so I stayed in my room.
Thank God, yesterday, my best friend came and gave her shoulder to cry on. Such a great loss for me…and I still have to struggle about some difficult matters in my life. Not easy.
During the conversation between my parent and the guests, I took my smart phone and said hi to my good friend. Okta. The funny thing is, we shared a very similar life story! What a coincidence! But since I was taught that there is no coincidence in Christianity, so, it must be God! Yes! Thank God for the perfect time! My best friend prayed for me, my another best friend sent me a very good book (Choosing to SEE), and then the sharing with Okta. All in such a perfect time!
Somehow, I really love this sentence:
In the midst of it all, God really is with us and for us. I have found that even during those times when the path is darkest, He leaves little bits of evidence all along the way-bread crumbs of grace-that can give me what I need to take the next step. But I can only find them if I choose to SEE. (Mary Beth Chapman from “Choosing to SEE”)
Then I come to the point of faith which makes me realize that God is good and will pour out His goodness to me.
My best friend said, “Tuhan kasih kebaikan, bukan karena kita baik, tapi karena DIA Tuhan yang baik!” The sentence makes me realize: not that I’m good so I deserve the good from God, but because God is good!
Let’s sing this song together:
Saat kutak melihat jalanMu, saat kutak mengerti rencanaMu.
Namun tetap kupegang janjiMu.
Pengharapanku hanya padaMu.
Hatiku percaya… hatiku percaya… hatiku percaya…
Sekalipun kegelapan ada di depan, saat saya tidak kehilangan pengharapan dalam Tuhan, dan tetap percaya, maka…. Everything will be just alright!